Saturday, April 14, 2012

How To Make A Great Spicy Shrimp Cocktail


Now it's very sad, but altogether typical of corporate fascism, that a company like British Petroleum  has gone off and given any and everyone who had previously worked the Gulf of Mexico a great big "Fuck YOU," as a hello and goodbye in it's race with Monsanto and Haliburton to become the world's single most hated corporation; but lets try really hard to not let ourselves be troubled by this as we try to make ourselves a wonderful, spicy shrimp cocktail at an increased price to ourselves while fat cat elitists grow increasingly wealthy whilst at the same time destroying the world in which we live.
Growing up, anything with shrimp was a delicacy for me, and the members of my immediate family. My Mother is allergic to shellfish. Need I say more?
I will say more. My Mother is SO VERY allergic to shellfish that she couldn't even boil us shrimp while using rubber gloves to handle them. The fumes would swell her throat!
So shrimp has always been special to me-and obviously, with this dish, you start with the shrimp. I like em' big, and being from Texas, we are well known to always think that bigger is better. Think TIGER SHRIMP! 
Boil those sexy suckers until they're pink, listen to Jimmy Buffet sing Margarita-ville, while your at it, it'll get you into the mood.
Next, you need Pico, and if you aren't especially familiar with Pico, then I already have a Loose recipe for you . . . . .
I call these recipes "loose," because I'm not going to be a girl and tell you how much of these things to use. You've got your own sense of proportion, right? I guess that I'm aiming for a male audience for mybachelor food, forgive me if you think that I need forgiving.
Next, you need some tomatillo sauce, or salsa verde. Green sauce isn't very spicy unless you bought the spicy variety of green sauce.
Get your favorite brand of cocktail sauce . . . . .. .and. . . . .
Obviously, you mix the tomatillo sauce with the pico, and the cocktail sauce to the proportion that you desire!
Next, we really add the spice. Add some Louisiana Hot Sauce, which, in my opinion, is the greatest asset that a bachelor could ever have when it comes time for him to prepare his own meals!
Finally, you add the lime juice. I like Key Limes, which I have pictured. They are smaller, tarter suckers than the ones that are spliced with lemons that are lemon sized, you know, the ones you usually see at the store.
Squeeze them suckers, be they large, or small-and mix the juice with the rest.
If you make a large amount of the sauce mix, then you'll want to do like I do, and cut your large, Tiger shrimp up into pieces, mix it with the sauce, and eat it with a spoon. But if you've only made a small amount of sauce, then you're a dipper.
Knock yourself out dipping, or bowling-it's up to you.